Why I Believe in Pride

This coming weekend is the Pride celebration in Atlanta.  I have attended before, but this is the first year that I will be marching in the actual parade.  I am a little anxious about it just because it is a big parade and I don't want to trip and fall or otherwise embarrass myself.  I have absolutely zero reservations about the reason behind the parade.  Which is quite a long way from where I was a few years ago.

For a long time (and sometimes still on my bad days) I was terrified that someone would learn my secret.  But then I started telling people, one at a time.  The more people I told the easier it got and the happier I became.  Little by little the weight of living a lie lifted off my shoulders.  When I stopped treating it like something to be ashamed of, people stop acting like it is something to be ashamed of.  When I stop worrying about other people's reactions and just speak to the fact of it - this is the person that i am spending my life with - it gets a little easier.  Somewhere in there I realized why people want to know other people's secrets.  Because it gives them power.  It is something to hold over another person's head, a way to control them.  That is the beauty of transparency and authenticity.  It removes the weight that someone should discover your secret because there is no secret there.  There is no need for a secret because I am not ashamed of any part of who I am.

I think that there is a sort of misconception about pride.  I am not proud that I am a lesbian - the part of pride that I think there is confusion around.  I am no more proud of being a lesbian than I am of being a blonde, of being 5'6", or of having blue eyes.  They are not things I chose to be, nor is this.  I am however, proud of how hard I work at my relationship.  I am proud of the fact that I am a good mom and I am raising a wonderful, loving daughter.  These are things that I am proud about and the reasons that I am going to walk in the pride parade this weekend.  Furthermore, they are the reasons that I will never lie about who I am dating.  I am proud of the fact that I am an honest woman, living an authentic life.  And that is something worth celebrating.