Intention

I am a terrible writer.  It's true, I am.  Not because my content is awful or because I make heinous grammatical errors (I do) but because I have absolutely no consistency.  For as long as I can remember, I have been in love with the written word.  The last two decades of my life have been spent jotting down quotes and reading everything I could get my hands on.  I was the nerdy girl in the corner or the coffee house by herself, pausing only to scribble down inspiration on a napkin.  Maybe one day I'll actually do something with them and be the next J.K. Rowling.  Which is totally possible except not at all because I am a terrible writer.  The problem with my writing is the exact same as my biggest overall flaw.

I lack follow-through.  By lack I mean, absolutely none.  I have tons of great, inspired ideas.  I have flashes of brilliance when I sit down and the words that pour out of me are pure magic.  I sit back and feel energy and exhaustion coursing through my veins simultaneously.  I look at the screen and I know that I can do this.  I can write things that challenge and inspire people.  I can publish my novel.  I get up and walk away from the computer on cloud nine.  

And then I do nothing.  If I am being a super slacker, I might not even touch it again for weeks.  If I am at least attempting to stay on track, I will sit down and try to connect the brilliant moments into something semi resembling a completed story.  Those forced words are complete crap.  I know it, they know it and every person who reads the manuscript knows it.  I throw my hands up in frustration and just walk away from it completely, leaving it to collect dust in the darkest corner of my hard drive.  Substitute blog post for novel and it's the same thing all over again.  Brilliant ideas, almost none get finished and posted.

My word of the year for 2014 is 'Intention'.  My goal was/is to stop being haphazard and make intentional choices in order to accomplish the things that I want to accomplish.  I was going to buckle down and do things.

We are halfway through the year and thus far, I have failed miserably.   I didn't post anything here for the first five months and I haven't touched my novel once.  Granted, there have been a few unforeseen complications, but I am not here to make excuses.  I am here to stop and commit to spending the second half of the year embracing the word I chose.  So that is what I am going to do.  I make no guarantees that anything I write will be decent, but I will at least begin by actually finishing and posting the things I write.  It's progress, right?