Introductions

Let me begin by saying hello to any of the poor souls who have unwittingly stumbled across this blog.  I have tried this whole blogging thing before on more than one occasion.  Each time I began with enthusiasm determined to write consistently and not let anything get in my way.  So off I went and I wrote about all the slivers of my life that I could share.  The things that weren't so pretty or made other people uncomfortable got stuffed away.  In fact, I remember once writing that I wished no one knew that it was "me" who was writing so that I could write whatever I want.  Which sparked an idea...I could create an anonymous blog that no one knew was me and use that as a safe space.  But I found that was just as unsatisfying as the first venture.  Finally, out of sheer frustration, I threw my hands up in the air and just quit writing altogether.  

Clearly, the actions of a mature and reasonable adult.

Ahem.

It was during this non-writing time that my therapist called me a "discouraged perfectionist".  I scoffed slightly at anything with the word perfectionist in it; anyone who is reading this and has seen my home can attest!  But she went on to explain that the discouraged perfectionist is someone with all of the same type-A tendencies of the perfectionist..are all or nothing people who have realized that if they can't make it perfect they don't want to do it at all.  So we choose nothing.  People, this is me right down to the core.  She then went on to say that no one in my life, (my daughter, my friends, my boss, my family) needs me to be perfect. They need me to be good enough, and I am.

What a revelation that was!  It still pains me to let go of my perfectionist thoughts, but I am learning to forgive myself for my many imperfections.  Along with this, came the itching desire to start writing again...this time for me...the whole and real me.  So here I am, beginning fresh, with only the promise of transparency.

Welcome and thank you for joining me.  It's so nice to meet you.  :)