National Novel Writing Month is something I participate in every year. It is a crazy, masochistic challenge intended to make you question your sanity for the first 27 days of the month until inspiration finally hits and you race towards the finish line, attempting to beat the clock. And then it's over; if you managed to succeed in hitting the 50,000 word goal, an elation like you have never felt settles over you, seconds before sheer exhaustion.
The idea for this years book was actually something born out of a couple of cocktails and a great conversation with one of my very best friends. Amazing how that booze will just let loose a torrent of ideas, isn't it??? None the less, throughout the course of the evening, the seed was planted and started to take root. Over the last couple of months, I have been a little remiss in my blogging as I began to gather material for my novel. Some of the research was done via the Internet and books, but the majority came from people around me who were kind enough to share their stories. I am not sure if I am more enthused or just overwhelmed, but either way I'm ready to dig in.
As the house countdown to the kick-off at midnight tonight, I thought I'd break from the sea of index cards laid out in front of me to say hello and explain why I might be a little more absent in the next 30 days or so. Unless it is going amazingly well and I am way ahead, in which case I will be coming on to share my excitement. I hope that all 10 of you who read this will be patient with me - I promise to return battle scarred and elated no later than December 1st.
Until then...wish me luck!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Why I Believe in Pride
This coming weekend is the Pride celebration in Atlanta. I have attended before, but this is the first year that I will be marching in the actual parade. I am a little anxious about it just because it is a big parade and I don't want to trip and fall or otherwise embarrass myself. I have absolutely zero reservations about the reason behind the parade. Which is quite a long way from where I was a few years ago.
For a long time (and sometimes still on my bad days) I was terrified that someone would learn my secret. But then I started telling people, one at a time. The more people I told the easier it got and the happier I became. Little by little the weight of living a lie lifted off my shoulders. When I stopped treating it like something to be ashamed of, people stop acting like it is something to be ashamed of. When I stop worrying about other people's reactions and just speak to the fact of it - this is the person that i am spending my life with - it gets a little easier. Somewhere in there I realized why people want to know other people's secrets. Because it gives them power. It is something to hold over another person's head, a way to control them. That is the beauty of transparency and authenticity. It removes the weight that someone should discover your secret because there is no secret there. There is no need for a secret because I am not ashamed of any part of who I am.
I think that there is a sort of misconception about pride. I am not proud that I am a lesbian - the part of pride that I think there is confusion around. I am no more proud of being a lesbian than I am of being a blonde, of being 5'6", or of having blue eyes. They are not things I chose to be, nor is this. I am however, proud of how hard I work at my relationship. I am proud of the fact that I am a good mom and I am raising a wonderful, loving daughter. These are things that I am proud about and the reasons that I am going to walk in the pride parade this weekend. Furthermore, they are the reasons that I will never lie about who I am dating. I am proud of the fact that I am an honest woman, living an authentic life. And that is something worth celebrating.
For a long time (and sometimes still on my bad days) I was terrified that someone would learn my secret. But then I started telling people, one at a time. The more people I told the easier it got and the happier I became. Little by little the weight of living a lie lifted off my shoulders. When I stopped treating it like something to be ashamed of, people stop acting like it is something to be ashamed of. When I stop worrying about other people's reactions and just speak to the fact of it - this is the person that i am spending my life with - it gets a little easier. Somewhere in there I realized why people want to know other people's secrets. Because it gives them power. It is something to hold over another person's head, a way to control them. That is the beauty of transparency and authenticity. It removes the weight that someone should discover your secret because there is no secret there. There is no need for a secret because I am not ashamed of any part of who I am.
I think that there is a sort of misconception about pride. I am not proud that I am a lesbian - the part of pride that I think there is confusion around. I am no more proud of being a lesbian than I am of being a blonde, of being 5'6", or of having blue eyes. They are not things I chose to be, nor is this. I am however, proud of how hard I work at my relationship. I am proud of the fact that I am a good mom and I am raising a wonderful, loving daughter. These are things that I am proud about and the reasons that I am going to walk in the pride parade this weekend. Furthermore, they are the reasons that I will never lie about who I am dating. I am proud of the fact that I am an honest woman, living an authentic life. And that is something worth celebrating.
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