Sit With Me in the Silence

This morning it is with a heavy heart that I share the passing of Miguel Angel.  He was the brother of a dear friend of ours and someone that N has known for most of her life.  She is grieving for the loss of someone she cared for and aching for her very best friend who lost a brother.  I wish that there was something I could say to make it better.

As I was putting Alaina to bed last night I explained that someone we knew went to go be with Jesus so we were just sad.  She scooted over to make room for me to climb in and snuggle with her.  "Please sing me a song and stay for a few minutes tonight, mommy."  Needing it as much as she did, I laid down next to her and began singing our usual nighttime songs.  My voice (lovely thought it is - ha!) was giving out on me so eventually we just lay there in the quiet with only the lights of her tiny Christmas tree glowing in the room.  

Several minutes passed and I got up to leave.  My sweet, sleepy girl rolled over and gave me a hug and kiss so I would feel better.  Surprisingly enough, I did feel better.  She said nothing to comfort me.  She knew that there was nothing that she could do to fix it.  So she sat with me and loved me until I felt better.

How often do we try to fix someone's problem when there really is nothing that can be done?  We mutter words of sympathy and say things like, "It's better, they're not suffering anymore." and "You'll see them again one day in Heaven."  I know we mean well and I am not intending to offend anyone by saying this.  I just want to point out that sometimes, the thing that will help someone feel better is not making them feel better.  

My daughter did this for me last night.  She sat with me in that quiet room and trusted God to heal the parts of me that needed healing.  And He did.  So the next time someone you know is hurting, allow them to grieve.  Allow them to tell funny stories and good memories.  Allow them to be broken and cry.  Stop trying to fix the things that cannot be fixed and just sit with them in the silence.  It might just be exactly what they need.