Rules are made to be broken

My child does not sleep in the bed with me.

My child has her own bed and I have mine.

I don't want to start a bad habit that I'll have to break.

My child has never, not once, spent the night in my bed.

If I have said these words once, I have said them a thousand times.  It has been a hard and fast rule in our home, with no wiggle room, since Alaina came home from the hospital.

For 5 years, 7 months, and 13 days I didn't budge.

And then I broke the rule.

My baby has been waking up with nightmares for the last week or so and I have no idea what is causing them.  She knows they're not real but she needs a snuggle which I am happy to provide. I calm her down and tuck her back in under the covers.  As long as I am in the room, she starts drifting back off to sleep. After I leave, I do a 3 minute countdown and she's back up telling me she's scared to go to sleep because she doesn't want to have the bad dreams again.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

I am exhausted.  She is exhausted.  We are not girls who are on their best behavior when they are sleep deprived (Any of my friends will attest to that fact immediately).

Last night my baby came into the room, trembling with fear after waking from another nightmare.  I gathered her up in my arms and murmured soothing words into her hair as we rocked back and forth on the bed.  As she clung to my arms, begging me not to leave her something inside me broke.  Screw the rules.  I threw back the covers and snuggled her down, so tiny in the middle of our king bed.  10 seconds later she was snoring and I knew that sometimes rules just need to be broken.

Especially when they're interfering with my sleep.