A Lifetime of Bows

My daughter was very very sick when she was born.  She had to be transferred to Children's Healthcare and spent a total of six weeks in the NICU before we were able to bring her home.  This was from the post the night that I came home from the hospital without her.  She was still on a paralytic so we could not touch her, nor had she opened her eyes or wiggled or moved at all.  She was on 95% oxygen supplement and they were hours away from putting her on ECMO, which is essentially life support for infants.

"My soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by."  Psalm 57:1

He is good ALL the time and we are resting in His love and peace tonight.

Sweet Jesus, I ask that you put your healing touch on our baby girl.  You are the Ultimate Physician and there is no doctor on this earth who can heal her the way that you can.  Touch her with your hands and let her feel nothing but love pouring over her.  We are placing her life in your hands, Lord.

As I was writing the above post, this song came on by David Crowder:

Lord I'm tired, so tired from walking

And Lord I'm so alone

And Lord the dark is creeping in

Creeping up to swallow me

I think I'll stop, rest here awhile

And this is all that I can say right now

And this is all that I can give

And this is all that I can say right now

And this is all that I can give, it's my everything

The song goes on for a couple more verses, but you get the gist.  I published the post and walked into her room, locking the door behind me.  I laid down in the middle of her floor and sobbed into the blanket that I had made for her because I didn't think she was ever going to get to use it.  I literally cried so hard that I broke the blood vessels under my eyes.  (Bear in mind also, that I had abdominal surgery two days prior and still had stitches in my belly).  I finally got up after a couple of hours because it was time to pump milk again.  The next day I went to the NICU and sat there, looking at her tiny little body, put a pink bow in her hair and prayed that it would not be the only bow I ever got to put in her hair.  Please, please, please Lord, give me a lifetime of bows with her.  Those words.  Those exact words.

This morning we were standing in the bathroom brushing our hair together and she asked me to braid hers.  In typical rushed mommy fashion, I was about to say no, that we were running late, and this song came on  my ipod.  I stared into my daughters perfectly healthy, beautiful face and heard This is what you prayed for...stop and savor it.  And I did.  I braided her hair and kissed her sweet freckled cheeks and we went to school five minutes later, incredibly aware of just how different life could be right now.

Thank You, Lord, for showing me a glimpse of Your glory this morning.  Thank you for reminding me to savor these moments with my daughter that are passing with alarming speed.  More than anything though, thank You, thank You for giving me a lifetime of bows...